Permanent
by Klainechester
Summary: Dean never gave much thought to being deaf, it turns out that he should have. Deaf Dean one-shot.


**Permanent**

It has been a week since the explosion that permanently damaged Dean's hearing. They had been to the hospital but the doctors said they couldn't do anything. Dean would always stay deaf. Sam tried everything: screaming, begging, offering them all the money in the world to do something but they wouldn't budge. It was pointless.

Dean hadn't said a word since they got out of the hospital. And that was three days ago. In these three days, Dean didn't even get out of the motel, he didn't want to face the world without being able to hear. They stayed at the motel because Sam demanded that dean needed rest but today was the day that they were moving to a new town. Dean still wanted to hunt, he knew it was really dangerous but he probably wasn't going to do much, maybe help Sam with research and digging up graves? But one thing he did know is that he wasn't going to let his little brother hunt Azazel alone. They also didn't tell John yet, they both knew they had to but dean thought that he wasn't ready to tell his dad that he was permanently deaf and even if he tried, he still wouldn't answer his phone.

Dean ignored Sam when he tried to tell him something or write it down. He just walked away. He spent the time reading books and researching. He tried to pretend that nothing was wrong, like it was all the same and he and Sam weren't talking because of some fight or something.

Sam, though, knew. He knew how Dean actually felt. He didn't know what it felt like not being able to hear. But he knew that Dean thought that he failed Sam and his dad which of course was utter bullshit. Sam also knew that his brother would eventually snap. He wasn't made of rock and something like that was impossible to keep inside. His brother wasn't cold hearted.

They drove the Impala for about four hours. Dean was driving and Sam didn't protest and let him. He didn't want Dean to think that he treated him like an invalid because he wasn't. But he didn't miss the flinch from his brother when he didn't hear the familiar sound of an engine as he started the car.

They stopped to get some breakfast and Sam went to order. When he came back and looked through the window, tears welled up in his as he saw his brother sitting there and holding Metallica cassette tapes and in the other a ringing phone, silent tears slipping from his eyes. Sam's heart was broken before, well now it got shattered. He opened the car door and looked at Dean. He didn't know what to do, how to comfort him. He couldn't exactly say anything because that would only upset him more but he also knew that Dean hated chick flick moments and wasn't really the touchy type. So he just sat there, trying to keep his own tears at bay until Dean handed him the phone, which stopped ringing by now, threw the tapes into the glove box and got out of the car, jogging in the direction of the forest.

Sam didn't want to be a pain but he knew that even if his brother pretended to be all manly and tough, inside he was soft and he loved comfort. He remembered when Sam was 7 and Dean 11, every time his big brother had a nightmare, he loved when Sam crawled into bed with him, hugged him and told him made up stories. They did it every time one or the other was upset. And to be honest, not much has changed.

So he followed Dean and found him leaning against the tree, looking up with his hands pressed against his ears as if pretending that when he pulled them away, he would be able to hear again. Sam walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Dean looked down at him and did something that Sam expected the least. Dean pulled him into a hug. Dean buried his head in Sam's shoulder and let go. Dean started sobbing quietly and it made Sam grip onto him tighter. Dean's tears soaked Sam's shirt but he didn't care, he even let a few of his own tears squeeze between his eyelids. Not once Sam thought that Dean was weak for crying. He lost his freaking hearing. It would be so much harder to hunt. Sam wanted to stop but he knew they couldn't. With the darkness released, they had to save the world once again. He won't be able to listen to the music Sam knows he loves so much. He won't be able to ever answer his phone. He won't be able to do a lot of things.

Sam didn't know how, but he knew Dean would find a way to deal. Somehow, he always did. But one thing he knows for sure is that he would always stick by his brother. Even though Dean acted like he didn't want his help, everyone needed it once in a while. So Sam will help, no matter what it takes.


End file.
